THIS IS A FUCKING HOLIDAY

When you say ‘staycation’

it makes me want to shove you

into a suitcase with no wheels

and heft you into the boot at 6am

so we can drive along B roads

without getting caught behind caravans.


I’ll let you out

only when you’re ready

to properly appreciate

the bleak and beautiful seafront,

the Knickerbocker Glory before breakfast,

Harbour Fish and Chips for dinner and tea,

the walk up to the wallabies,

North Sea swimming,

a caravan to play cards in

and a girl with a plastic monkey

clipped to her collar.


Until then,

keep it zipped.

Photo by Ali Karimiboroujeni from Pexels

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